Just call me “open-minded”

January 24, 2009

If I’ve learned anything in the past three years, it’s that I tend to jump into things too quickly.  Choice of college, my relationships, deciding what classes to take, volunteering for stuff–I’d say about 90% of such decisions were made quickly without evaluating all options.  I’m not saying all of these things are bad, but what I have realized is that sometimes I need to think things through, give them time, and revisit them when I have a clearer mind.  Many times, I don’t necessarily wait and seek out what I’m really going after and then in time, I realize that I’ve accumulated a list of regrets and “what if’s”.  Lately I’ve been thinking that maybe, just maybe, I should have waited longer before deciding on a college.  Wondering what if I would have figured out a way to study abroad this past fall?  What would my life be like if I could have been the person I wanted to be a year ago?  

While I know wondering about the past won’t at all affect my life now, it’s this reflection that leads me into thinking about how I live my life presently.  Am I where I want to be as a person?  Am I letting things pass me by?  I have to identify what I want and really start going after it before I wake up in ten years and realize that I’ve let things slip through the cracks.  I feel like with the new year and my birthday around the corner, I really really have to straighten myself out.  Not because someone else needs me to, but because I need me to.  It’s the least I owe myself.

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