because I don’t have time to go to the bathroom.

My life is consumed with being on campus.  Not always doing school work, but always being there.
I am spending the entire day in the studio tomorrow.  I really mean all day.
I had french fries from McDonalds.  They were delicious in a sinful way.
I’m addicted to the stupid “Paper Planes” song.  I’m horribly embarassed by this fact.
I want to wear sundresses now.
Spring break is only a few weeks away.
My car still has a huge dent in the door.

That is all.

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late night ramblings.

My photo project thing is in shambles.. this must be fixed.
My bedroom is hot, even with the window open.
I’m sort of sucky at screen printing, but I really like it.
The weather was outstanding today and I can’t wait to wear sundresses again.
I wish that classes were cancelled so I cold just walk around.
Septa should be cheaper.  So should supplies.
Our apartment should clean itself, like the house in that Disney Channel movie from when I was a kid.
Still warm and uncomfortable.
I wish I could find the cut of jeans that I like because I’m tired of rotating the two pairs I still have.
and we should all be free to do as we truly please.

So I don’t forget.

Here I stand, on January 25, and I am vowing to purchase the following items in a timely fashion.  These are things that I don’t need, but instead, have been waiting to get for quite some time.  I’ve been drooling over a new SLR Camera since I got back from India.  I’ve been pricing both Nikons and Canons, but at the moment, the Canon seems like the best option (price-wise, at least).  I’ve also been looking to switch to a Mac because my PC is a joke.  I can’t do what I need to, the body is falling apart, and I figure I can probably get a good deal on an older model Mac since new ones are coming out pretty much every other week it seems.  I’m also revisiting the idea of finally going for my third tattoo before I decide against it.  I know after my Louisiana service trip I’ll probably want one as well, but I’m kind of anxious to go.  I’ve been promising myself one for my birthday since the summertime, and with under a week to go, it’s looking as though I probably won’t make that self-imposed deadline.   

January is quickly coming to a close.  I’m looking forward to this spring so much and it’s really hard to contain my excitement.  I did, however, realize that a majority of my friends will be graduating this spring.  I’m a bit nervous to see how this pans out because I know from past experience that no matter how much you vow to stay in touch, it’s increasingly difficult when people are scattered around the country.  I’m hoping that this isn’t the case this time and that I really can stay close to the people I’ve met over the last three years here.  Soon enough though I too will be getting ready to make my exit and moving on to another city.  

For now, I’m going to gather some notes, make sure everything is in order for later, get some groceries (Jell-O, anyone?), plan a website, and FINALLY start dance for the semester.  This is where it starts to get a wee bit crazy.

My Life Pursuit.

When you grow up in a small town, you’re often encouraged to dream. As many people from my graduating class haven’t even left the zip code, I look at myself as a small success story. Either way, we were all required to write a short “life goal” list that was included with our pictures in the senior yearbook. For me, I listed a bunch of stuff that I had hoped to accomplish. On that list I mentioned visiting Germany, graduating with my Masters, and continuing my journey to feel infinite. I still haven’t made it to Germany (India instead), I’m nearly finished with my undergrad and I have every intention of going on for my MFA and the journey still continues. Over the last few days, I’ve really been thinking about what I truly want in this life after being recommended to look at my life, figure out how I want to continue, and shoot for it. So, in no particular order:

• solid foods: this is at the top because it’s short-term. I have been semi-restricted to liquids the last six days or so for some unknown reason. I do, however, enjoy being able to drink Icees and eat unlimited quantities of Jell-O without even feeling guilty.
• visit Germany: this stays. I still really really really really really want to go.
• be in love, get married, have kids, blah blah blah: I want the whole she-bang. While I’m in a relationship now, I know that I want to have my special day with pretty dress and flowers (which is, I’m pretty sure, the only real reason I want a wedding) and I want kids. Not one. At least two. With cool names and middle names that make other kids say “what were your parents’ thinking?”
• get into a school for my MFA: I really feel that despite a lackluster portfolio, if I’m given the chance to go somewhere for my MFA (Chicago? Baltimore? Rutgers?) I could really excel. I have the desire, I have the drive–most days–and I know that it’s what I want. I’d love to teach at some point but more than anything I’d love to have the opportunity to learn more than I already know.
• Tell every person I know exactly how I feel about them: This isn’t quite as much of a “thing I want to accomplish” as it’s me being honest with myself and the people that I love. I should get on this, pronto.
• Get over my fear of spending money: I have a phobia that prohibits me from buying anything I don’t actually need. While most people (men, moreless) look at this as a good thing, it’s a bit out of hand when I’m standing in line at Wawa and I walk back, put every item away, and walk out empty handed because in my head, I knew I wouldn’t die without that bag of trail mix.

So, that’s it. Now I’m off to chat up my vag and down the rest of my 16 ounce blue Icee. Nothing says adult like that.

Ah-hem.

After a hellish afternoon at the local mall (what in God’s good name was I thinking?) I have decided to compile a small list of things I swear I will never do.  In no particular order:

1.  Shop again within the week after Christmas.  Enough said.
2.  Allow my teen daughter to dress like she’s at least five years older than she really is.  I often wonder what parents are thinking and if it’s “Oh honey, you look adorable!” they should probably be shot.  And not allowed to have sex for the rest of their child bearing years.
3. Scream at my child in the middle of a crowded mall.  Or grocery store.  Or anywhere for that matter.  When I pass a mother dressed in designer clothing, hair done nicely, dragging around dozens of shopping bags from places that don’t include Wal-Mart or Baby Gap, screaming “Jesus Christ you’re so damn annoying” at her children, I feel that maybe something is wrong with the situation.
4. Forget to apologize for anything.  Maybe it’s just me, but if I so much as bump into someone at the store, I say “oh, sorry”.  I had someone nearly knock me over today and look at me as though it was my fault for being there in the first place.
5. Leave the dishes pile up.  Okay, okay.  This one might not happen, but it’s good to be optimistic, right?

Christmas was lovely in good ol’ NEPA.  I’m still waiting for two gifts to arrive (one to me, one to Zach) and enjoying my day off before the work week resumes yet again.  I’ve decided to skip the New Year’s Eve festivities and instead babysit.  A little bit of extra money sounds better than getting drunk and having to drive home the morning after so I can get to work on time.  When did I get so old?